It can be a lot of work to prepare for surgery. Here some suggestions on how to help your friend or loved one leading up to surgery:

• offer rides to and from appointments
• offer to take notes during appointments
• pick up supplies and helpful items
• help prepare food and groceries
• help coordinate a group of people that can prepare meals, help with chores and visit after surgery
• ask if there are any specific ways you can support them as they get ready for surgery
• remember that it can be hard to ask for help, so check-in regularly to see how they are doing and what they need

After surgery, your friend or loved one will not be able to take care many of their day-to-day responsibilities for many weeks. This includes physical tasks like household chores and taking care of family members or pets, as well as more subtle activities, like re-arranging pillows, putting fresh sheets on the bed and preparing food.

Doing these things or helping to organize friends who can help, is one of the best ways to support someone after surgery. Keeping a schedule to make sure these things are taken care of can be a huge help in avoiding restricted activities and focusing on resting and healing.

Letting people know you are thinking of them is a great way to show how much you care. This can include visiting them, bringing a card or some games, or simply sitting with them and watching a show.

When a person knows they are cared for, it reduces stress and helps with healing, and it also just feels good!

Distractions help people manage pain, avoid boredom and recover more quickly.

This can include listening to an audio book together, going on walks, sending texts and pictures, and dropping in for short visits.

Caring for yourself is one of the most important things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, the friend or loved one you are helping will benefit too.

If you are a primary support person, it is important to regularly take time to be alone or to go out and do something you enjoy. There may be other people who would be more than happy to help out if they knew what was needed, so just ask.

Seeing someone you care about feeling pain or discomfort can be hard, and taking on extra responsibilities can, at times, be stressful.

This is a temporary and normal part of the process of care giving, and it can be made easier by reflecting in advance about what’s ahead and thinking of ways to also care for yourself during this time.

It’s also helpful to remember that your role isn’t to be a magician and fix everything or make all pain or discomfort disappear – it is just to be with your friend or family member on their healing journey.

Just knowing someone understands can be a really big help. Even though it doesn’t “fix” anything, empathy creates connection and makes it just a little easier to live through the harder parts of healing.